Where have all my posts gone?
Nothing is missing – all of my previously written posts are still here. What I mean is – where are the new posts? Not much been posted here in the past six weeks or so. Perhaps I’m going through an inspirational dry spell, or I’ve been busy to the point that I’m too busy to write about the busy-ness? Maybe the time of the day usually spent composing and posting has been consumed with other things, such as exchanging emails for hours at a time.
I wrote how Susan and I had batted emails back and forth for a few hours a week or so ago. Last weekend, emails for twenty or so minutes, followed by an hour and a half phone call. This past week, another two and a half hour email session, nearly followed by phone call. Susan’s been stressed, caring for her sister, trying to maintain her family. She’s been battling demons for years. I guess I’m a friendly ear. Sure, we have a history, but a most unusual one. I know I’m nothing special, there are hundreds of thousands of people in the world like me: just nice people trying to do their best. That’s all I offer. For as jaded and cynical adulthood might have made me, I still try to see the good in people; I generally trust everyone. Maybe I am naïve, but people need to earn my mis-trust. For as much as I might have been hurt by Susan, I’ve always cared for her, and always desired her friendship. That might be hard to understand, but it is what it is. So it is with great excitement that I’ve embraced our renewed friendship. I’d been patient for a long time; with the thawing of our sometimes icy friendship, I admit I’ve been a bit of a kid in a candy store. Questions? Honey, I am full of questions. I truly, truly love that Susan is back. It makes me smile each time I get a note from her and I look forward to receiving them, or when I think of something, and I don’t hesitate to write about it to her. I could listen to her for hours. And I am practicing restraint… I feel closer to knowing Susan than I ever have.
There is nothing going on. I’m happy way up here, and Susan way down there. We’re married, with families. We are friends, who have not talked this openly to each other in a very, very long time, maybe ever. Making up for lost time? Are we talking too much? Maybe. Is that dangerous? Honestly, it could be. We need to find the right balance. Be careful what you ask for – you may get it.